Way to often I hear about bullies and nothing gets done while the victims cry out for help like we tell them to. This is a VERY big problem. We can never stop bullying simply because people will continue to treat others like crap as long as there are people. We can however change how it is handled and maybe get bullying down a bit. But over all (like I said before) the key thing that needs to change is how it gets handled.
I know all about bullying. When I was a kid, I was bullied every day. I spent every single day, every single recess by myself sitting up against the wall. Kids would think I did something wrong (that’s where the kids who got into trouble had to go) and would ask me what I did. When I said nothing, they couldn’t understand why I was just sitting there, yet nobody asked me to play with them. Sure I had some friends but they did things I couldn’t do like play on the monkey bars or do something that required running. I have asthma so running was always out for me. This went on for most of my elementary school years. PE was a nightmare for me.
I also had my peers tell me I was ugly, stupid and a toothpick because I was so skinny. I never told anybody because I felt ashamed and that I was those things. As years went by, I did join in a few things like Chinese jump rope, double dutch and four square.
The school didn’t help me feel any better. Just because I learned things a different way and developed anxiety (back then I thought it was just being shy since things like anxiety wasn’t talked about), they thought I had a learning disability and put me in special ed. I don’t, I just have to hear, see and do and sometimes it is hard for me to understand what I read. It’s not a disability, it’s just how my brain is wired. This didn’t help and made me feel even more stupid. Once I got to 7th grade (my school went from K-7 and the high school went from 8-12), things got worse education wise.
There was only 1 classroom for 7th grade which was small. It was packed to where there wasn’t enough room for all the 7th graders. Since I didn’t learn very well anyways, they kept me in the 6th grade class room but I had to learn 7th grade stuff on my own (they kept me out of special ed in 7th grade). There were a few other people too that were kept out and they were 3 Mexicans and a girl from Afghanistan (they got out of their country when things started to get bad). Yeah, they must of figured we were throwaways. So I didn’t get a 7th grade education, I went from 6th to 8th. That really fucked with me.
During the whole time I was getting bullied in elementary school, I was also getting bullied in the apartments we lived in. When I did try to play, I had to end up going inside due to my asthma. I was threatened to have my butt kicked, thank God it never happened. So yeah, I know what it’s like.
A lot of kids have it worse especially these days. See, I went to school in the 70’s/80’s, there was no hotlines, positive music or internet. There was nothing for kids like me. Today kids have hotlines, turn to the internet and positive music. The internet can also be a bad thing because now the bulling is also on-line. Kids seem to be more aggressive than they were when I was a kid, or maybe I just got a little lucky. So even though kids have more things to turn to for help, the bullying is worse (in some ways).
One thing I have noticed, nobody does a damn thing about it. This infuriates me. We tell our kids to tell someone about the bullying, yet when they do, nothing gets done. When a kid kills themselves or shoots up a school, we sit there and ask why, how bullying needs to stop and so on but nothing still gets done. We just argue over guns and mental health. Even though those are big issues that need to be dealt with, that’s just some of the things that need to happen.
How about we start listening to our kids? I mean really listen. How about we actually do something about this issue instead of sitting on our asses and talking about how we need to do something. Very time I hear about someone being bullied, I also hear how the school does shit about it. The teachers and principles turn the other cheek, blame the victim, punish the victim and do nothing about the bullies. Parents sit there and say “no not my kid, kids will be kids” and whatever excuse they through out. We are failing our kids. The schools come up with their “reasons” or that they didn’t know about the bullying but only after something has happened to the victim or the entire school.
This is what needs to happen: Every teacher, principle and school official has a responsibility. They need to listen to every kid that comes to them about being bullied. They need to put their personal beliefs aside and help the child in pain. They need to punish the bully especially if it is being taken to the internet and in physical form. It would help if the victim records/saves the things that are happening for proof.
This is how the bullies need to be punished: Well first the law needs to change and the bullies need to be charged by the law. They are harassing and assaulting others which is against the law so why aren’t they getting charged? This NEEDS to happen. If a school/school official turns the other cheek, they too should get into trouble and get a fine. School wise, there needs to be a Saturday class set up for bullies. When they get there, they will go through a lecture about bullying. Ever heard of those people that went to schools and did an exercise where they gathered kids around, asking questions if they have been called certain things, made to feel certain things and had to go to the other side of the room? I think they also shared their stories then had to talk to someone they wouldn’t normally talk to. This needs to happen in every school with the bullies. Don’t know if those things in the schools will work but it could change some of them which is better than nothing.
Bottom line, laws need to be changed, these kids need help. My thing is, how can I get someone to listen to this? How can I get things to change? I have anxiety so going around doing speeches etc won’t work for me. Nothing is being done. Kids keep getting ignored and bullied. Things are not headed in the right direction. Things won’t get better until a REAL change is made. News media, school officials, the governments including the president needs to really hear and understand what really needs to be done and make some serious changes. What happens now is only destroying our kids. We are supposed to be protecting them. We are not doing our job. Bullies need to be charged by the law and victims need to be heard and not punished for sticking up for themselves.